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Finding Mermaids, at a time when I was completely lost, felt like being thrown a lifeline when I was drowning! I learnt how to cope and support my child at such a vulnerable time.
Gender Variant Children & Young People in care
A Teachers Introduction to Diversity Role Models
Equality Act 2010
Equality Act 2010 and Schools
Fertility Preservation Factsheet
Fertility Preservation Guidance for CCGs
Gender Recognition Guide – UK Trans Info
Hate Crime – Pace Health
Name Change Guidance
Sandyford Gender Identity Services – Booklet
Support for Gender Variant Children and Trans Adolescents – Surrey NHS
Trans Inclusion Schools Toolkit – Allsorts Youth Project
Your Rights At Your GP Surgery – Proud Trust – NHS
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Kelly, 40, is mum to Adam, nine and Evie, seven, who transitioned to live as a girl 2015. Here Kelly, who is married to Andrew, 46, explains how Mermaids have helped her family.
“From the age of two we started to notice that Evie didn’t quite fit in. I thought that my son was going to be gay, but it became apparent that there was something more than that.
“Evie always wanted to play with dolls, and never had any interest in traditional boys toys, like cars or dinosaurs. We had an older son and the two could not have been more different.
“Evie loved bracelets and constantly wanted to wear one, and when I bought the children Guess Who? to play she unclipped all the female faces and put them in a handbag to carry around with her.
“Evie would look longingly at other little girls who were wearing dresses or skirts, and every time I picked her up from the childminder she would be have raided the dressing up box for a princess costume. She would come to the door to meet me in a sparkly pink dress and a tiara with a big smile on her face.
“At other children’s houses she would love putting on the princess outfits, and would have a meltdown when she had to take them off as it was time to leave.
“I wasn’t sure how to cope with how Evie was behaving. Some family members said I should try and make her be a boy, get her to play with boys’ toys and dress her in boys’ clothes, but it became a daily battle. Every time we went to the supermarket she would make a beeline for the aisle with all the dolls and girls toys and get very upset when I told her they weren’t for her.
“I told myself it was a phase but the longer it went on, the more I realised that this wasn’t a temporary thing, it’s who Evie is.
“I didn’t know anything about trans children but I spent hours researching online. I found YouTube videos featuring trans children in America, and cried as I watched them. As a parent you don’t want your child to be trans, as you know the path ahead of them will be so much harder. They may well be bullied at school and discriminated against as they grow older, and they may need life-changing surgery to feel at home in their body. You worry about their future as other people may judge them and find them difficult to understand.
“From the age of four we started to let Evie bring girls’ clothes and toys into the house, and when she was five she told me her biggest dream in the world was to own a dress, so I bought her one and she barely took it off.
“It was around this time that I found Mermaids, and they were an incredible source of information and support. Suddenly, instead of being at a loss as to what to do I was in daily contact with other parents around the country who were in the same situation, who shared my worries and fears. But they also provided amazing support, and I know we are lucky that Evie identified as trans so young.
“Families who have teenagers who have just come out as trans face the trauma of puberty, but thankfully that is years away for Evie. We started seeing the specialist staff at the Tavistock just as Evie turned five, so hopefully the right treatment will be available if she decides to go down that road in the future.
“Mermaids have also helped Evie to meet other trans children by organising meet-ups in our area, and it’s been brilliant for her to see other kids who are going through the same things she is.
“As time went on Evie began to identify more and more strongly as a girl. By the time she was six she would come home from school, take off her boys’ uniform and put her dress on. You could see her visibly relax as she clearly felt happier and better in herself when she was wearing it. Soon after she told me she was a girl, and by May 2015 she asked if she could begin living as a girl.
“We informed school, who were slow to start with and struggled to get their heads around what was going on, but have been really good since then. Evie wears a skirt, uses the girls’ toilets and goes swimming with the girls. They all get changed in private so that hasn’t been a problem.
“Her classmates don’t have any issue with Evie, she’s always been one of the girls as far as they are concerned and now that’s just been formalised.
“This is just who Evie is, she’s my child, I love her and I’m so proud of her. I feel she was born trans, that it’s something that happens in the womb and no-one has any control over it. This isn’t something me or my husband can simply tell her to stop doing, as although she was born physically male, her gender identity is clearly female and that’s who she is.
“If she does change her mind and wants to go back to living as a boy in a few years then that would be great, as it would save her a lot of hardship. But as it stands I cannot imagine how that would ever happen.
“I know the future may be difficult for Evie, but I also know that someone from Mermaids will have been there before us, got through it and will help us to get through it too. Their support is so essential for families like ours. Mermaids mean we are never on our own.”